Saturday, March 21st 2020

Strength

My card pull for the year 2020 was the Strength card and I am starting to understand why. The amount of anxiety and stress I have been dealing with this year is the most I have in my life so far I think. Not only have I been dealing with the stress around my most recent diagnosis and health, but also the stress of trying to buy my first home. And now, COVID-19.

For someone who is already a homebody and an introvert, having a lock-in isn’t such a big deal for the most part. It does, however, make me realize just how many errands I run, even if I don’t really interact with many people. It’s not easy right now to just run to the store to grab cookies, or pop into the library to grab a book on hold.

This virus has completely changed everyone’s way of life and day-to-day. I am now working from home every day. My weekly therapy sessions are now done online through a teleconferencing service. All of my work meetings are through WebEx or Zoom. All of the events I was hosting, including an Ostara ritual, were canceled.

When I have not been working I have been trying to focus on self-care snd also being somewhat creative. I have been playing some games online with friends while using Skype to hang out. Stardew Valley is our game of choice. The new Animal Crossing game arrived yesterday. I have been participating in creative lock-ins hosted by Leena Norms using the Pomodoro Technique to get some writing done. I have been using it to write in my journal, write some blog posts and get some poetry writing done. So if anything, I think self-isolation will be the perfect time to try and revive my blog.

Friday, January 3rd 2020

Letting go

2020 is going to be my year of letting go. I am going to let go of the things that no longer serve me. I am going to let go of toxic relationships. I am going to let go of things out of my control. I am going to let go of my need to control. I am going to let go. I am letting go.

Friday, August 30th 2019

New moon in Virgo

  1. How can I be of service to others? The Chariot
  2. What needs decluttering in my life? The Magician
  3. What needs my attention? Queen of Swords
  4. Where do I need to get more organized? Knight of Wands
  5. Where to focus my energy this season? Seven of Wands

Friday, August 16th 2019

Full Moon in Aquarius

Every time I am working with the cards, I cannot help but hold my breath as I flip them over. My reaction is more telling when the cards are revealed than anything else. Which is why I think I struggle to read for others. I am not a predictive reader. I use it as a tool to gauge my responses/reactions to problems in my life. It is a tool to listen to myself in a deeper way than what is bubbling up at the surface. I am sure there is a way to harness the way I read Tarot and read for other people, and I am sure there are readers out there who do it this way. I just haven’t figured it out yet.

Using Ethony’s Tarot by the Moon guide, the Full Moon in Aquarius spread, this was my reading:

  1. What possibilities are being offered to me right now? The Tower
  2. What area of my life is craving freedom and experimentation? The Lovers
  3. Where in my life can I bring more unity? The Hanged Man
  4. What old habits/beliefs need to be released under this Full Moon? Two of Cups
  5. Where do I need to go with the flow? Three of Wands

This reading very quickly became all about my connections with others and upheaval in my life. I have a lot of walls and boundaries in place to protect myself from others. Most people around me are kept at arm’s length. I am comfortable with the distance, physically and emotionally. I did not use to be this way, but continually getting burned makes it hard to get close to the flame.

It may be time for some changes. I need to let go of the relationships that I feel are toxic and that no longer serve a purpose in my life other than stress and discomfort. And I need to be more open with those who I do feel closest to. Those who I trust can be brought in.