Wednesday, December 9th 2020

In the time of COVID

Just an FYI that if you are feeling pressure from anyone to go outside your comfort zone right now and attend gatherings but do not feel safe doing so, you do not have to feel bad about saying no. Your feelings are valid. Your fear is valid. It 100% completely sucks not seeing the people we love. I get it. I haven’t seen some of my close friends since March. And from the outside people might think I am being extreme by having my groceries delivered, and only doing curbside pick-up, etc. But I am someone with an invisible (for now) illness. People cannot tell that I have a rare auto-immune disease called chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy (CIDP), which is essentially the chronic version of Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS).

It was most likely triggered in my body from a horrible case of pneumonia I had in my twenties. Since CIDP is rare, and COVID19 is so new, there is no telling what would happen to me if I caught it. It most likely would not go well since I have a history of respiratory illnesses and an auto-immune disease. All this to say, when I say no and when others say no, it’s possible we are saying no because we have a pretty big fear of dying right now. Auto-immune disease or not, this shit is scary. And we are all weighing the risks right now.

COVID fatigue is real. I GET IT. But please, please, please, respect everyone’s level of comfort. It is so important right now to have compassion. I would love to hug some of my friends, attend the family game night, walk into Michael’s Crafts and buy ALL THE THINGS, but my answer right now is no.

Stay safe, practice social distancing if you are meeting in person, have ventilation of some sort, and wear a mask.

Wednesday, November 4th 2020

GirlTheory is 15 years old

With everything going on this year, it wasn’t until I was brainstorming ideas for this site a few weeks ago that I realized I have had this website for 15 years. This website has gone through a lot of changes over the years. Blogs don’t really seem to be as big of deal or as popular as they were when I first bought this website, but I just feel like I will never let this site go.

In hindsight, I really wish I would have kept a record of all the changes that this website has gone through, but I did not and many, many posts have been deleted over the years. In fact, I think at one point I did a complete uninstall and re-install of WordPress, thus losing all my old posts and writings.

As much as I love watching YouTube, and it would probably gain me more an audience to have a YouTube channel, I just cannot do it. I hate recording myself and therefore, hate editing videos of myself. So for now, I will stick with this website.

In it’s current iteration, this website is part blog, part journal, part book log, and part magickal entries. It is always a work in progress.

Saturday, October 17th 2020

being a homeowner

Being a homeowner has been challenging and rewarding in ways I wasn’t necessarily expecting. There have been a few times I have completely lost my shit in frustration, but there have also been times where I have been really proud of myself for fixing something on my own.

I had a minor freak-out the first night living in my new house because the pilot light on the fireplace had gone out and I didn’t know there the gas light was downstairs to turn it off. I did figure it out but there was a moment where I questioned why I bought a house. I was so used to calling a landlord when there was a problem.

However, there have also been moments of triumph. I am very lucky because the previous owners left all the manuals to everything in the house. There have been a few times now where I have been able to use the manuals left behind to troubleshoot and figure out issues.

Instead of focusing on the things I don’t know about homeownership or the times I got frustrated, I try to think of the things I have accomplished. I make sure to give myself praise and to feel good about figuring things out. I make an effort to be proud of myself.

Friday, April 10th 2020

during these times

I spent some time updating my love page today and that made me think of all the videos I can just watch over and over again during these trying times.

a tour of my plants – Jenna Marbles
i made the tiktok whipped coffee – Julien Solomita
corn on the cob but instead of the corn bone it’s a hotdog – Jenna Marbles
all the best vines – spaydthesuperhero
i read fifty shades darker and this is a rant review – paperbackdreams
single girl tries the 100 baby challenge season 1 marathon | sims 4 – BuzzFeed Multiplayer
a guide to positive panic playlist – Leena Norms
oxygen not included playlist – Markiplier

Saturday, March 21st 2020

Strength

My card pull for the year 2020 was the Strength card and I am starting to understand why. The amount of anxiety and stress I have been dealing with this year is the most I have in my life so far I think. Not only have I been dealing with the stress around my most recent diagnosis and health, but also the stress of trying to buy my first home. And now, COVID-19.

For someone who is already a homebody and an introvert, having a lock-in isn’t such a big deal for the most part. It does, however, make me realize just how many errands I run, even if I don’t really interact with many people. It’s not easy right now to just run to the store to grab cookies, or pop into the library to grab a book on hold.

This virus has completely changed everyone’s way of life and day-to-day. I am now working from home every day. My weekly therapy sessions are now done online through a teleconferencing service. All of my work meetings are through WebEx or Zoom. All of the events I was hosting, including an Ostara ritual, were canceled.

When I have not been working I have been trying to focus on self-care snd also being somewhat creative. I have been playing some games online with friends while using Skype to hang out. Stardew Valley is our game of choice. The new Animal Crossing game arrived yesterday. I have been participating in creative lock-ins hosted by Leena Norms using the Pomodoro Technique to get some writing done. I have been using it to write in my journal, write some blog posts and get some poetry writing done. So if anything, I think self-isolation will be the perfect time to try and revive my blog.