Sunday, May 24th 2020

all motivation has left my body

It’s really hard to find the motivation for anything right now. The past two weeks have been something else entirely. I feel like I have been holding my breath for a very long time.

Two weeks ago I moved. I was getting tired of renting and really wanted a home of my own. Moving is such a draining ordeal. It took two trips with a moving truck to get everything out of the old place and into the new house. And as much fun as it is to move in general, I was moving during a global pandemic. My family was able to come and help myself and my platonic life partner move into the new house, but we all had to wear masks and keep distance when possible. It was interesting.

Because of the pandemic we have not been able to go into stores and pick out furniture. So the house is still not put together as we are waiting for items to arrive. We have had little hiccups and bumps in the road, but we were making the most of the situation.

Then a torrential downpour hit mid-Michigan and two dams broke. During the rain on Monday, I went down into the basement and noticed the carpet was wet. I realized there was water coming in from one of the basement windows. The window well is too low and it was allowing all this water to build up against the window and it was flowing in. After several frantic calls to local hardware stores I was able to get my hands on eight 60 lb. sandbags to stop the water from coming in. We set up a dehumidifier and used a shop vac to try and dry the carpet as much as we could.

Then on Tuesday, the dams broke. I received 10 emergency alerts on my phone. One of them indicated that my parents needed to evacuate as soon as possible. My parents and their dog Lucy stayed with us for two nights. The whole situation was very frightening. We didn’t know if their house would still be there when they would be allowed to return. Luckily, it was.

Somehow, they only had minimal water damage done to the garage. They were very lucky. A lot of others in the area have lost everything.

It’s been a very trying two weeks. And while I did try to tell myself that it was okay if I wasn’t super productive this weekend, it’s hard to allow myself to feel this way. But I do. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t feel like reading, or watching YouTube or getting things done around the house. I don’t even feel like playing Animal Crossing. What I would like to do, is power-down. I would like to shut my brain off. I think I need more sleep.

Friday, April 10th 2020

during these times

I spent some time updating my love page today and that made me think of all the videos I can just watch over and over again during these trying times.

a tour of my plants – Jenna Marbles
i made the tiktok whipped coffee – Julien Solomita
corn on the cob but instead of the corn bone it’s a hotdog – Jenna Marbles
all the best vines – spaydthesuperhero
i read fifty shades darker and this is a rant review – paperbackdreams
single girl tries the 100 baby challenge season 1 marathon | sims 4 – BuzzFeed Multiplayer
a guide to positive panic playlist – Leena Norms
oxygen not included playlist – Markiplier